FAILED DIPLOMACY -- a poem and song by Bill Kochman

#Poetry #Poem

FAILED DIPLOMACY

by Bill Kochman

05-09-2026

Why are aliens always naked,
Man, it just really puts me off,
Show respect and decency,
Go find yourself a loincloth.

I know you are not from here,
Your home is very far away,
On Earth we wear clothing,
Put some on without delay!

You make diplomacy so hard,
When your butt is in my face,
How can I even concentrate,
My eyes are all over the place.

Maybe it is all simply natural,
At the place where you reside,
But here we do have our rules,
So some skin you need to hide.

Sir, please don't take offense,
Let us be interplanetary pals,
It's just that wearing clothing,
A lasting treaty it surely sells.

Thanks for the consideration,
It really puts my mind at ease,
Now cover your third eyeball,
We'll then dot i's and cross t's.

Oh wait! Where are you going?
Negotiations aren't even done,
Why are you so in such a hurry,
Friend why do you have to run?

Uh, did I say something wrong?
I really don't have a single clue,
Things were going really swell,
Till they flew off into the blue.

Negotiating with those aliens,
Can be a most challenging job,
For at times you will get a few,
Who act just like a total snob.